Mental ED Fixes You Can Use Now

Today I'd like to share some Psychological ED therapy tools you can use on the fly if you're in a situation where mental ED might be an issue.  These are tools you can use right now that might help.

My usual caveat here: None of these things are a substitute for working with a skilled Psychological ED therapist and really getting the problem solved. But sometimes you just need some tools and hacks to get you through while you're getting a longer term solution to the problem figured out. 

These are all things you can do with the fly - they don't require a lot of deep thinking, practice or preparation. Some of them are academic research proven to be effective, I'll note the research at the end of the video. Some of them are things from the hypnosis and NLP world that I've found to be effective in my client work.

These tools work for psychological ED because they're all designed to do the same thing: help your nervous system switch from sympathetic flight-or-flight mode to parasympathetic rest and digest feed and breed mode.  When you're in fight or flight mode you're probably not gonna get hard.  When you can help your body stay in that calm rest and digest mode, your erections are probably going to be just fine.

The idea of a toolbox is to give you as many choices as possible . Sorry, none of these tools are likely to work for every guy who tries them. Hopefully you'll be able to find a thing or two or three in here that will help you if you're going into a sexy situation and you'd like to be able to relax and enjoy it.

Psychological ED Toolbox

#1 - Long exhalations for ED

Long exhalations are a fast and easy way to hack your nervous system for better erections.  When you do long slow exhalations, your diaphragm uses your vagus nerve to signal your brain to turn off the sympathetic nervous system.  When that fight-or-flight flight mode turns off, your nervous system switches back into feed-and-breed mode.  So blood can move from the fight or flight/arms and legs back into the feed and breed stomach and penis.  So when you do those long slow exhalations, you're sending the signal to your system that it's ok to have a good strong erection. 

To do it, it's as easy as it sounds, just go like this: <exhale>   And repeat.  And for more tips on breathing to help mental ED, check out the link.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6189422/

#2 - Peripheral vision

Just like long exhalations, going into peripheral vision helps your nervous shift into the parasympathetic feed and breed mode.  The more you can help your nervous system to relax and shift modes this way, the better your erections will be.  Oh, and some evidence suggests it helps reduce focus on internal dialog as well - that's pretty much always going to be a stress reliever.  You probably know how to go into peripheral vision already,, but just in case...look straight ahead and allow your gaze to soften, expanding to include the periphery. If you want ot practice, you can put your hands out wide and focus on the wiggle of your fingers.  Notice how your body responds to this shift.  That's peripheral vision.

#3 - Take a pill

Take a pill?  What the Hell??? I thought this site was supposed to be about NOT having to take pills.  True.  I don't think pills are great for a long term solution for healthy guys whose issues are psychological rather than physical.  But for a quick short term confidence-booster?  Hell, yeah.  Research shows that they help most guys with performance anxiety relax to get good erections. So there's a place in the toolbox for a pill or two for sure.

#4 - Bilateral stimulation

Think of anxiety as a cluster of blood and electrical impulses kind of stuck in one area of the brain.  This super simple technique is designed to break that cluster up so the brain can come back into balance. It's really easy.  Just grab a ball or an apple or keys  - just that fits in your hand.  Then, as you think about your upcoming chance for sex slowly toss it back and forth across the midline of your body.  The idea is that by doing this, you're stimulating both hemispheres of your brain.  It's the same principle used in techniques like EMDR and EFT if you've ever heard of those.  Toss for a minute.  Has your anxiety dropped a little?  If so, go for another minute and do another check in.  Repeat until it's gone.  If you don't get that initial reduction, just move on and try another tool from the toolbox.  If you want to add something to to it, try humming a tune or repeating something positive out loud.  

#5 - Stay on your own side

If you were going to play a sport or a musical instrument, how well do you think you'd do if you had someone being super down on you and telling you you suck and you'll never be able to do it?  Most guys would say not that well.  Same with sex.  If you have a tendency to talk with yourself, see what happens if you shift into something a little more positive.  More like what someone who's actually on your side and wants to help might say.  For a lot of guys sex is a lot more relaxing when they're not fighting against or judging  themselves through the process.   More relaxation = better blood flow to the penis = better erections.  I did a whole video on this here.

#6 - Relax your jaw and tongue

This is a trick yoga and meditation teachers use.  When you allow the jaw and tongue to relax, your body will naturally follow.  And a lot of folks find that when they relax their tongue, their internal dialog tends to noticeably quiet.  Again, less internal dialog usually means less stress.  Less stress = better erections.  And as long as you don't need to talk, you can do it any time, no one will know.  

To do it: Allow the muscles of your jaw to relax so they just go slack and the jaw opens a little.  Then allow the tongue to relax and expand at the bottom of your mouth.  Let it get soft and heavy.

#7 - Change your movie 

For some guys, fight-or-flight mode gets triggered by the images or movies they're making in their head.  They're not psychic, their brain is just showing them sad movies of doom and failure.  Best bet: realize you're the director.  You can change the movie.  Restart that movie in your mind and guide it to a more positive outcome.  Notice how your body responds when you're watching the movie version of how you actually WANT things to go.  Think of it like if you're in a skid in a car.  If you look where you don't want to go (a ditch for instance) that's probably where you'll wind up.  If you're looking in the direction you want the car to go (even if that's a little hard sometimes), most driving instructors will tell you that you're a lot more likely to get there.  So spend some time watching the movie or images of what you want.  You might notice your body relaxes and likes what it sees.

#8 - Imagine floating

This is an old self-hypnosis trick.  David Spiegel, Assoc Chair of Psychiatry at Stanford University uses this with a lot of his anxiety clients.  To do it, you Just stop, sit or lie down and close your eyes and imagine floating. Imagine floating.  Not swimming.  Not having to fix/fight or run away from anything.  Just letting yourself float.   Like you'd float in a pool or a hot tub or in a cloud or in space.  Just float.  Then imagine a screen.  Movie screen TV screen it doesn't matter.  Then let all of your thoughts project over there while you just float over here.  Imagine your thoughts - the words, the images - to all project over there onto that screen.

#9 -  Lightly run one or two fingers over your lips. 

That's it.  Seems weird I know, but parasympathetic fibers are spread throughout your lips so touching them stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system.  GIve it a try and notice how your body responds. 

#10 -  "Just chill the fuck out."

You might be saying "Well if I could just chill the fuck out, " I woulnd't have the problem.  These words of wisdom come from a client I had who used them to make significant progress in the bedroom.  And they remind me of another client who completely solved his problem by realizing the whole sex thing just wasn't as big a deal as he'd been making it out to be.  It was like this epiphany he had.  So I guess I'd ask you to try giving yourself permission to just chill the fuck out about the whole thing.  Essentially giving yourself permission to stop trying to run or fight or fix the problem.  Permission to just let your body do its thing without your head getting all in the way of your body's game.  Maybe it's out of reach for you, but if you can make that basic shift in your thinking, you'll probably be getting better erections.