Surprising ED Fix

Today, we’re talking about a counterintuitive but really effective approach to dealing with mental ED: leaning into the anxiety instead of fighting it. I know it sounds weird, but stay with me—there’s science behind why this works. I’ll explain why this technique is effective and give you step-by-step instructions so you can try it for yourself.

ACT for Erectile Dysfunction Research

A 2006 study of acceptance and commitment therapy or ACT published in Behavior Research and Therapy found that when participants accepted and allowed their feelings instead of trying to avoid them, they felt more in control and reduced the severity of their symptoms over time.

A Meta-Analysis done for Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics in 2015 looked at 39 studies of acceptance therapy and found that it works better than doing nothing and just as well as the other therapies they compared it with.

A meta study of the meta studies published in the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science in 2020 concluded again that ACT actually performed BETTER than most other treatments they compared it with.

OK, so there's some good science that says just accepting the feelings works. If you only take it that far today, fantastic. In my work with clients, though we're often taking it even further. So first there's the acceptance of it, then there's the leaning into it, the trying to make it get stronger. That's what I'm going to emphasize today.

What Happens When You Amplify ED Anxiety

When you purposefully focus on your anxious sensations and even try to amplify them, you’re doing something unexpected. Instead of running from the feeling or trying to fight it, you’re accepting and even welcoming it. This does two things:

Breaks the Cycle of Fear:
So much of what drives fear and panic responses is people are afraid of the feelings so they're trying really hard to resist them. And the harder they're trying to resist, the stronger the feelings get. The stronger the feelings get, the harder they're trying to resist. The more they resist, the stronger the feelings get. People can end up in the emergency room, completely freaked out by being caught in this cycle. Leaning into it breaks the cycle. Your brain comes to realize there’s no real danger from the feelings, so it stops escalating the fight-or-flight response.
Increases Familiarity:
You get used to the sensations. Maybe they aren't much different from what you'd feel if you were doing a good workout. As you get used to the sensations, you become more comfortable with them. The more comfortable you get with them, the more your body learns to relax. The more relaxed your body is, the better your erections will be.

How to Lean Into ED Nerves

Find a Quiet Space to Practice:
Start when you’re alone and relaxed. The goal is to practice without external pressures or distractions. Sit in a quiet room where you won’t be interrupted.
Notice the Sensations:
Think about a moment when you felt ED-related anxiety. Notice where it shows up in your body—your chest, stomach, hands. Pay attention to the sensations: Is your chest tight? Is your heart racing? Just notice it as a sensation without adding any judgements, stories or predictions about it.
Lean Into the Feeling:
Now, instead of trying to calm down, do the opposite. Welcome it. Tell yourself, ‘Let’s make this feeling even bigger, even stronger.’ If your heart is racing, imagine it beating even faster. If your chest is tight, focus on intensifying that tightness. Really roll out the welcome mat for it. C'mon in, feeling!
Observe Without Judgment:
As you amplify the feeling, observe what happens. And let whatever happens be ok with you. If you're able to crank it up a little - congratulate yourself. You're doing a good job. You’ll probably find that it’s hard to sustain, though—it will eventually peak and start to fade. This can show you that it's not that big a deal. Those sensations in and of themselves aren't any threat to you.
Repeat and Build Confidence:
Practice this regularly, even for just five minutes a day. The more you do it, the less scary these sensations will feel, and the more comfortable you'll find yourself getting with your body. And the more comfortable you're becoming, the better your erections are going to be.

Taking the ED Therapy Live
Once you've practiced for a while, you can try it live. Let’s say you’re with your partner, and you start to feel those familiar nerves creeping in. Instead of thinking, ‘Oh no, here we go again,’ and trying to stop them, pause and silently say, ‘Welcome. Bring it on.’ Notice where you feel the anxiety sensation in your body and focus on amplifying it. You’ll probably find that the nerves lose their grip much faster when you stop resisting.

Leaning into anxiety might sound counterintuitive, but it’s one of the most effective ways to reduce its power over you. With practice, you’ll retrain your brain to stay calm and present, even in high-pressure situations.